Meet the Neighbors

Before I start, here’s a musical interlude to set the tone:

Now let’s meet the neighbors.

First up is “Darwin”. I’ve named him after the Darwin Awards. “Darwin” is so deserving of his title. As someone once said, he’s not as sharp as two pencils.

Darwin is a collector of things that were once protected by one of those portable garage tents, until the tent blew away one day. He also believed in storing large amounts of herbicide in his shed, until it all spilled one day when he tried to pour some into a smaller container. The fumes went away after a week or so.

Darwin’s latest habit is setting two or three five-gallon containers of gasoline on his wooden deck. They bulge in the sun. Darwin can be seen sitting on his deck beside the five-gallon jugs of gas, smoking a cigarette. Darwin doesn’t sit on a chair. He sits on the deck, beside the swollen jugs of gas.

Hey, Darwin, here’s a song from Music Mike just for you:

Or in the words of Derek Zoolander, “Noooooo!”


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